Adventures With One of the World's Deadliest Snakes

On Saturday night, Liz and I sat down with some Chinese food and were ready to spend the evening in front of the TV. I was finishing up my Hokkein Noodles when the phone rang. Liz answered it and all I heard was, "What? A snake? Is she okay? Well, you should take her to the vet. What? I'll ask him..."

When Liz hung up, she said to me, "Mum thinks that her cat, Rosie, has been bitten by a Brown Snake. Now don't freak out, but she wants to know if you can kill it." I replied, "Aren't Brown Snakes amongst the deadliest snakes in Australia?" "Yes," she answered.

Now, being a man, I think I'm supposed to feel like a hunter in these situations. Deadly snake? Sure, no problem. Maybe I can skin it, eat it and make a pair of boots. After spending the day doing some house repairs and using power tools, I was feeling particularly masculine. So, I said, "Yeah, I can kill a Brown Snake. Let me go downstairs and get the shovel."

I should say here, that normally, I wouldn't kill a wild animal. However, Brown Snakes (also known as Eastern Brown Snakes, or the Common Brown Snake), are, of course, deadly. And Liz's mother, Christine, has 3 cats. If any of them died from a snake bite, she would be devastated.

So, we got in the car with the shovel and a flashlight in the back and headed to Christine's. On the way, I told Liz my plans to kill this snake. I would smash it on the head with the shovel until it was dead. I was running through the scenario in my head several times. I was ready to do this. I've seen Steve Irwin handle deadly snakes plenty of times. I would keep my distance and be alert.

When we got there, Christine took us around the back of her house and showed us the snake. It wasn't as big as I thought it would be. It was probably about 50 cm long and maybe 1.5 cm thick. It was still poisonous. Liz and Christine went back inside to put the cat in the cage. I said, "So, you want me to kill this thing?" From inside the house, they both replied in unison, "YES!"

The snake was coiled near the downpipe against the side of the brick house. I tapped it with the edge of the shovel and it slithered out into the lawn. I thought it was going to get away, so I raised the shovel above my head and brought it down with all my might on the snake's head. To my surprise, that didn't kill it. It reared up in an S-shaped stance ready to attack but then dropped down again. I hit it again and again. It was now lying on the ground and didn't move except for a nervous twitching of it's tail. I hit it one more time. When I thought it was dead, I hit it again. Then I hit it again just to make sure it was dead. I went inside and said, "Do you want to take the snake to the vet so they can identify it?" They thought that was a good idea and Liz brought me a plastic bag. I picked up the snake by the tip of it's tail and dropped it into the bag and tied it shut. Then the three of us got into the car and headed to the vet.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a blonde vet nurse. She took us to the back of the clinic where the vet, Simon, was operating on a rather large dog. I told the vet nurse I had brought the snake. She said, "Is it alive or dead?" I replied, "It's dead. Well, it better be dead after what I did to it." She took the bag and ripped open the bag and put the snake on the table. The snake seemed to move a bit. "It's alive!" she yelled. "What, really? Are you sure that wasn't a reaction from when you took it out of the bag?" I asked. The vet was standing there with a half-open dog on the table and there was a live Brown Snake in the same room. Everyone started to panic and eventually, the nurse got a cardboard box and covered it up.

When Simon stitched the dog up, he came over to inspect Rosie. He gave her some antivenin and decided to keep the cat overnight and see if she reacts to the snakebite in any way.
No one was keen to lift the box and see if the snake was alive or dead. No one, except the other vet nurse. She grew up in the country and she didn't seem to be scared at all. She lifted the box, and the snake didn't move. Then, she nudged the snake with the box and it started to move a bit. Everyone in the room, started to freak out a bit. Then the snake fell the the ground and started slithering along the floor. The nurse had pulled a hammer out of thin air (she must have grabbed it without me noticing) and she hit the snake on the head twice. That was it, the snake was surely dead. She put it back in the box and set it aside.

Everyone seemed to calm down then. I apologised for not killing the snake properly the first time.

We then went back to Christine's for a cup of tea. Liz joked, "If someone asks if you can kill a snake, I can say 'no'". Looking back on the whole situation, I am kind of freaked out by the fact that I picked up the snake while it was still alive. And, I had it in a plastic bag between my feet on the way to the vet. I know now, that if I have to kill a snake again, I will make sure I cut it's head off or something.

In the end, no harm actually came to the cat. She's fine and is now back at home.